Evans Wins Bracket Challenge
Posted Apr 11, 2017
In a political season when the outsider “trumps” the establishment, the establishment, in the form of Department Chair Sean Evans, won the 10th Annual Union University Department of Political Science Bracket Challenge.
Despite some claiming that he had “low energy,” Evans led the bracket challenge after each week and, in contrast to our current president, won the equivalent of the Electoral College and popular vote winning the high score and most correct picks. Upon winning this “yuuge” victory, Evans promised to do “bigly” things as President of Bracketology for the next year. He has plans on decorating his office in more gold, tweeting outrageous things at other disciplines like “we read Plato and you play with Playdoh,” and wearing red hats that say “Make Civics Great Again.”
Coming in second temporarily was Clark “Guy Fawkes” Hubbard. He made some great upset picks with Wisconsin beating Villanova and Xavier and South Carolina making deep runs. However for threatening to kidnap and hold Dr. Evans’ pets ransom, this treasonous act led to his points being drawn and quartered which placed him in a four-way tie for last place with himself. This last place victory actually helped Noah “Mike Tyson” Curry, last year’s Bracket Challenge winner, save face. His plummet from first to last made him resemble a 95 pound weakling.
Coming in third is Matt Grove, last year’s runner up. “Little Matt” is the Marco Rubio of the bracket challenge who is everyone’s second choice coming in second last year and third this year but never making it to the top. In fourth place was Charlie Ellis. Charlie must have drunk some of the lead in Flint’s water which led him to believe LaVar Ball’s prediction that UCLA would have their “one shining moment.”
Dr. Greg Ryan tied for fifth place with Josh Swafford which allowed him to edge out Dr. Baker. Ryan picked Villanova to repeat as national champions and was seem muttering about unknown three point shooters behind the grassy knoll that allowed Wisconsin to knock off the defending champs. Swafford as a Vanderbilt fan which just glad that he did not finish last and claimed fifth place as a “moral victory.”
Among our female participants, Katie Hoppers, fresh from her transfer from Pretend U, barely eked by Kathleen Bahlon whose ability to pick well was hurt by her penchant for listening to heavy metal music. Unfortunately, they fell slightly behind Travis Peevyhouse who was expected to do better considering all the free time he had from not attending class.